From Dead to Teen in 13yrs...

I realise that the title of this post seems a little morbid.. It's not meant to be but it is somehow, very apt. You see, my Boo has just turned 13. This may not seem very interesting or exciting for you but to me it's very emotional. My pregnancy wasn't a very easy one or a very loving one, "Him in doors" & I had a lot of stress in our lives from his ex wife, which made what should have been the happiest time of our lives, sad & stressful. I had always imagined pregnancy to be so romantic.. Holding hands while shopping for baby bits, cuddling & talking to the bump... You know, like they do in romantic films. But for us, this wasn't the case, we argued A LOT, we didn't go shopping together, we didn't cuddle & talk to the bump, in fact, we didn't spend much "Quality time" together at all. All the stress was obviously to much for me as Boo came early... 9wks early & as you can imagine, this was scary... It was my first child & I didn't know what to expect but I was pretty sure, this was not IT...

We went to the hospital & I was rushed into to surgery as I was hemorrhaging. I remember all of what happened but after they took her out of me, they took her to SCBU & once back on a ward I was given a picture of her. I lost it, I screamed at the nurse, threw the picture back at her, told her I didn't want a photo, I wanted my baby... Demanded that they took me to see her. They told me that I couldn't see her until I had eaten & the feeling in my legs had came back.. I slammed my legs up & down on the bed & they were obviously worried about the damage I could do as they gave in & took me down to see her.. She was so tiny.. 3lb 2oz, covered in fur, no eyelashes, no finger or toe nails, she was just like a little squirrel monkey... I was IN LOVE... MY Baby... (I'm crying as I type) she was perfect & I had made her...

Over the next couple of days, I had to stay in hospital but I was allowed down to see her when ever I wanted but with somebody to take me in a wheel chair. On the third day, I had woken early, showered & waited for "him in doors" to come & take me to see my precious little bundle, but we were told we couldn't go in, something was wrong, we sat outside not knowing what was happening... My heart was in my throat. Finally they came out to us & told us that Boo had stopped breathing... I burst in to tears but was quickly reassured by the doctor that she was fine & that they had put her on a C Pap..

The next couple of weeks were hard, she stopped breathing 3 more times. The doctors sat with me & explained that her lungs hadn't opened properly & that they were keeping an eye on her & that they were doing everything they could... After this, she seemed to improve, so much so that they told me that I could possibly take her home on my birthday. I was so happy.. The next morning, I went to Mothercare, I walked around the shop with a huge smile on my face, pointing to this buggy, that cot, the sales girl telling me that they could have them delivered before she came home.. Then my mobile rang, it was an unknown number, I answered the call & my world came crashing down around my ears... It was a nurse from SCBU, they aren't allowed to ring parents if anything is happening but she was a friend... I ran as fast as I could to the cab office next door, I was crying & couldn't get my words out, I asked for a cab & the man on the switch board told me that he had no cabs, I collapsed, in a crying heap, he came around to help me up & I explained, the best I could, that my daughter had stopped breathing & he picked me up & quickly ushered me to his car & told me that he would take me.. He rushed to the hospital & as I tried to take my money out he just pushed me & told my to run... I ran as fast as my legs could carry me... The look on the nurses faces said it all... They stopped me going into the Warm room..(still crying as I type) I screamed & I'm sure I started shouting, no, calling her name, then all of a sudden, there was a flurry in the warm room.. The doctor came out smiling, shaking his head. Boo had started breathing again, kicking & waving her arms.. He told me that they were going to have to do test though as she had "died" They would have to check her brain or something like that, to be honest, I wasn't listening, I was weeping & thanking "God". 10 days after this, I was allowed to take her home... but thats another story..



The next 12yrs & 9 months have gone relatively easy compared to that...

So, now you see, from Dead to 13... Wednesday was Boo's 13th Birthday & a very emotional day for me... I honestly thank my lucky stars that I still have my Boo in my life, I am also lucky enough to have two more babies.. My "Princess" & my "Monster"

U.D.I's.. (understanding Debbie's injuries) Lol

So, I have told you before about my Northern Bessie mate.. Debbie, she's a LOON, a proper drinker & a great friend, she is also the Godmother of Ruby "Princess".. Now, I have a funny story about the Christening of my Princess.... & for my Post on UDI's to make any sense, I have to tell you about the Christening.

The morning of the Christening started very well, all the Godparents together, celebrating with a Bucks fizz, we all went to the church, Christened the "Princess" then went to the reception. I had booked the reception at a local social club until 5pm. Everybody was having such a lovely time that we decided to take the party back to our house... Drinks were flowing & everyone was in high spirits.. One of the Godmothers was laying on the floor playing with the "Princess", throwing her up & down, after a little while, Kerry put her down & she crawled off leaving Kerry still laying on the floor... At this, Debbie shouts My Turn & throws her self at Kerry, smashing heads but continuing straight over & smashing her nose on the floor. I at this time was in the down stairs toilet & as I came out could see blood everywhere.. I ask whats happened & Debbie turns around, saying that its all ok, that shes just got a nose bleed. NO.. That is no nose bleed, she had split it open. It took her daughter & me at least 10 minutes to convince her that she WAS going to hospital to get it looked at.

When we finally saw the doctor, he just looked at me & shook his head, the poor bloke didn't know where to start stitching, her nose was split in so many directions...

after this we would joke with her that the next time she comes down, we would notify the emergency services.. The next party she came to was the "Princess"'s 1st Birthday... & yes, she hurt herself... this time she fell backwards over a post

Leaving her with this lovely bruise...

Unfortunately, Debbie missed the 2nd Birthday but this weekend was the a double Birthday Party as it was the "Monsters" 1st & the "Princess"'s 3rd.... & guess what? Yep... Debbie ended up with another huge bruise, this time she slipped on the decking, landing on the arm of a chair... But she did stop the "princess" from hurting herself so it wasn't in vain... lol

I think the moral to this little story is either Debbie needs to stop coming down to visit or she needs to cut down on her drinking.. Ha ha ha

Egypt again & NO broken bones...

As some of you know, I went to Egypt in December & managed to snap my ankle away from my leg & shatter my leg in 20 places, leaving me with a plate in my leg & a completely fecked ankle.... This has meant I have to have another Op to correct the said fecked ankle. Because of this "Him in doors" decided to take me on holiday so that I could have a rest before the Op.. (Yeah right, Rest, ha ha ha) anyway, I said if we were going on holiday, then I wanted to go back to Egypt to the hotel where I had the accident so that we could see the friends that we had made... Needless to say, he agreed, well, it was a holiday for me.... Lol

So, I contacted our friend Ahmed who is a manager at the hotel & he did us a very good deal, I then booked the flights. After it was all sorted, I told the kids... Molly was very excited as she hadn't been on holiday with me & her dad in years & after her break up I think she needed something nice to look forward to. Boo was happy to be going back & the Ruby Princess was beside herself.... For the whole 13 days before we went, EVERYDAY she would ask me "Can we go now Mum" " Do we go NOW" so I made her a chart to tick off the days until it was time to go...

Well, the 23rd came & we were all ready to go. We woke the kids up & the first thing the Princess said was "Yay, let's go see Susan, Ahmed & Dr Hany" bless.. Excited much?? As we were leaving "Him in doors" did the usual.. "Have WE packed everything" YES "I" have packed everything... & I was even nice enough to pack your clothes that you couldn't even get out ready for me to pack.... We got to the airport & headed straight for a restaurant to get some breakfast, as we waited for the breakfast to come Molly & I did the compulsory "Duty free shopping" buying loads of things we don't actually need & plus the bottle of perfume that "Him in doors" always buys me.. The flight was ok... The Princess & the Monster were very good, the best on the plane actually... We arrive at Hurghada airport & we were met by our friend & the Doctor that looked after me when I had the accident there. The Princess nearly wet herself... She ran straight into his arms. We go to the hotel & book in... Seeing lots of the people that had helped us when we were there in December. Molly loved the service we got, cold drink & cold flannel to cool you down... We were taken to our rooms (joining rooms, not that I don't trust Boo & Mols but I felt happier having our rooms joining) they were huge & fully equipped.. With Coke, Fanta, 7Up & water in the frigdes & fruit on the table...

The first couple of days were great, I got to sit & "rest" but By the 3rd day, normal service had resumed... No rest for me... No lying in the sun, resting... I was up & down like a tarts draws... Trying to get the Princess in the pool & dealing with the Monster... Boo had made friends with the General Managers son so she was on the missing list, only seeing us to have her shower & get ready before she was off out with him again.... oh to be young again.

The holiday was lovely though, the food was as gorgeous as the first time, the cocktails were flowing & Molly & I had some nice bonding time... We played pool, had a few cocktails, went shopping & I fought off the waiters & chefs that were continuously asking her out.... One barman kept making her drinks with hearts on it.. Ha ha ha.

It came to the end of the holiday & I was left to do all the packing AGAIN.... For the life of me, I was stumped. How can the cases be so full still?? Minus a huge pack of nappies & the 2 big tubs of baby milk?? Oh well, I managed to pack it all... "Him in doors" helped, you know... "Have WE packed everything, did YOU remember....." you know how it is... We went to the lobby to book out & say good bye, I felt so sad, this was the first holiday that I didn't want to go home, usually by 10 days I'm ready to get home back to my creature comforts but I really didn't want to go home.

The flight home was as easy as it was going, the babies were so good, they made me very proud.. The "Princess" watched her Peppa Pig & the Monster smiled & waved at everybody... I'll be honest with you... I was dreading taking the kids on a plane but they were fantasic... If any of you want a fantastic hotel that's all inclusive, with fantastic people, then Sentido Crystal Bay in Hurghada, is the place to go.... Now to book our next holiday... ;oP

Having a reason to be proud...

In my life, so far, I have always been made proud by my sisters & children in my life for one thing or another that they have done & achieved... The feeling of proudness & overwhelming love has always amazed me... Last week I felt an ever bigger amount of overwhelming proudness & love... My 12 year old was given a day & half notice to compete for Hurdles... Against other Schools & she jumped at the chance to "help out" even though she had not had any training...(She came 4th out of 10)& My Toddler woke up REALLY early excited at doing a sponsored Toddle to raise money for "Children that don't have toys & love" (Bless her innocence) Both of my girls did me so proud that I was like the Cheshire cat....

It makes me wonder, I know I did things when I was younger that could have possibly made my parents proud but they never told me... I tell my children Every day that I love them & when they do BIG things that make me proud, I tell them, but what about the little things??? The princess gave up her bottles not to long ago & now is saying Good Bye to nappies & Pull ups, Boo tries sooo hard with her homework, & My eldest went to Oz, that made me so proud that she did it on her own (however scared me everyday) My Moo has changed her college to Brighton because she WANTS to work with animals.. All these things are big, I praise them... Am I missing the bigger picture????

I will be completely honest with you... I work with children with ADD, ADHD, Autism & Aspergers & every day I work with one of those children, I praise them, no matter how small.... Should I show my children the same praise?? Why, because those children have been labeled different do we feel easier to do so?? I was brought up in a world where children weren't praised for doing what what expected of them but that also begs the question, Do we expect to much from our children?? Should a child make it's own bed? Should a child be expected to clear the table? Should a child help out around the house? Or should they just be children????

I am going to try, for a week, to praise my kids for EVERYTHING that they do, I don't mean, going to the toilet or eating their dinner but the other things... Remembering to brush their teeth, putting their crap away when they have finished with it, etc....

Wish me luck, I feel this is going to be harder than I think..........

Lovely Award...

Lovely Awards








Yesterday I was awarded this Lovely Award by The gorgeous, fantastic & inspirational @sthurley49. Who Who has been wonderful at helping me to start Blogging.. Her Blogs will have you in tears, some funny & some very moving...



The rules of this award are as follows:
1. Include the award logo somewhere in your blog.
2. Answer these 10 questions, below, for fun if you want to.
3. Nominate 5 or 6 blogs you enjoy. Or you pick the number.
4. Pay the love forward: Provide your nominee’s link in your post and comment on their blog to let them know they’ve been included and invited to participate.
5. Pay the love back with gratitude and a link to the blogger(s) who nominated you.


So without further ado, here are the questions and my answers.



1.What is your Favourite Colour?
My favourite colour without any hesitation is Red, I really can't tell you why, I just know that, thats the colour I love over all others, however, I wear mostly Black.. Ha ha ha







2. What is your favourite animal?
I am going to have to say two animals, I LOVE Giraffes & Otters both are so graceful & have the prettiest faces.










3. What is your favourite non alcoholic drink?
Now, anyone that knows me, knows I don't drink things like Coke or Tea or Coffee But I do drink WATER, until its coming out of my ears... Fizzy mainly.





4.Facebook or Twitter
I'm not to sure on this one... I love Facebook as it helped me get back into contact with so many old friends but Twitter as opened the door to many new & fantastic friends...




5.Favourite Pattern?
Favourite pattern, now thats an odd one... I Love Rennie Mackintosh's art, so I'll go with that..







6.Do you prefer getting or giving presents?

As I said in an earlier post, I LOVE giving presents, I love seeing the look on peoples faces when you give them something that they have always wanted... But I have to be honest to you, I REALLY LOVE getting presents too... Come on, who don't?







7.Favourite number?

Now, this is hard, I like a few numbers... 10 (Boo's bday) 13 just because it isn't unlucky for me, 17 (Maisie's bday) & 25 Princess's bday)....






8.Favourite day of the week?


Sunday... Growing up as a kid, that was the day ALL the family was together, all around a HUGE table, having a proper nice Roast... Now it's my little family's Lazy day...






9.Favourite flower?
I'm greedy, I love Orchids, Lillys & Irises.. Such beautiful flowers...







10.What is your passion?



MY CHILDREN.... I didn't even have to think about that, I have others but they are my world...






So there you go, my 10 questions all done. Now I have to nominate some more bloggers to receive this award. You don't have to answer the questions but please accept this award from me for being fab & always making me smile.... xxx


@NotSoSlummy Brilliant pictures, funny tweets & blogs..


@Ladyfuckwitt Brilliantly Funny Woman who makes me pee my pants ]


@HonestMummy Heart felt blogs with beautiful photos https://twitter.com/#!/HonestMummy


@MinistryOfMum A woman that has me in STITCHES


@FeelEmFriday Brilliant blogs from REAL people fighting breast cancer or helping to raise awareness. Truely inspirational people.




There are so many Good Blogs out there but these are just a few... Happy reading... xx

Arrrrrrrrgh.... I DO know what I am talking about.

For those of you that don't know me, I had an accident back in December. I managed to snap my ankle away from my leg & shatter my leg.. How? I hear you ask... I missed a step. Yes, you heard right, I missed a step. We were in Egypt & it was our first night there. We had a lovely room but there were a few steps down into what would be the girls room. I was worried about the toddler hurting herself if she got up in the night so I decided to put her in bed with us as our bed was HUGE. I mean, this bed was so big we could have fitted the whole family in it. Anyway, we had dinner & an early night as we had been up very early, Boo went into her room, "Princess" Rubes, Me, "Him in doors" & the baby went into ours. We fell asleep pretty quickly but as Maisie was only 4 months old, she woke up for her nightly feed. It was about 3.45am.. After she had finished feeding, I laid back down to go back to sleep, but then The "Princess" started kicking me in the back closely followed by "Him in doors" calling the cows home with the loudest snore ever. After about 20mins of this, I had enough so went to go into Boo's room. As I walked down these beautiful marble steps in the dark, I misjudged the last step, "SNAP!!"

went the ankle, so loud it woke Boo up.. There was me, on the floor with my foot just.. Hanging... Needless to say, I went to the hospital & after a little argument with the Insurance people, they operated. The holiday continued & it was BRILLIANT. I got to lie around, in the sun,

with my own waiter asking me every half hour if I needed a drink or anything else while "Him in doors" ran around after the 3 kids. & I rekindled my love of Mojito's, well, I couldn't hurt myself, I was already Legless... Ha ha ha



We returned to England & I went straight to hospital to get it checked out & a new Cast fitted. After 8 LONG & painful weeks, they took the Cast off & I could walk on it, but not to much. 4 weeks later I went back in to have a bolt removed & a week later I had to go to see the Consultant again as something wasn't right. I could feel one of the pins, he told me that it HADN'T moved a that I should just take more pain killers. REALLY???? I am at home, on my own with the 2yr old & the baby & he wants me taking MORE pain killers... Errrrr, NO. I have been putting up with the pain & just getting on with it but today I had to go for my 6 weeks review after the removal of the bolt.



Guess what ???? Yes, the pin has moved, so much so that the ankle ISN'T fusing back with the leg, as the pin ISN'T holding them together because IT HAS MOVED!!!!! This means that I need another operation, so that they can put a plate on the ankle & a bone graph to help them fuse. As you can imagine, I am NOT happy. Why didn't they listen to me?? Surely, I know my own body.... Now I have to sit & decide whether I refuse the op & hope the bones fuse on their own or do I put my family through yet another worrying time of me having another operation then being laid up for another 8 weeks.

Thanks for listening o me rant & I hope you weren't to grossed out by the photos..

Love Me & my manky foot.. Xxx

Fallout from the fridge...

Growing up I was never one of those kids who had a fridge full of food & goodies.. Don't get me wrong, we had food in the fridge, wine & beer in case visitors came, food for dinners, condiments etc but the fridge was never FULL... We knew where everything went in the fridge & we put everything back in it's place (at our peril if we didn't as dad would moan if things weren't on the "Right shelves")
(NOT our Fridge growing up)


Now, we come to my fridge, I try to keep my fridge full, I have friends that just "Pop in" & Boo often brings friends home.. I myself, would like my fridge to be like my fridge was back home when I was growing up but that's not possible in this house.. No... It's chaos!!! on numerous occasions I have gone to take something out for dinner & had to become the Indian Goddess Kali with many arms to catch The stuff that comes flying out as if it is making a break for it's life. It appears that NOBODY in my house can put anything away properly, mainly because they are fecking lazy & are annoyed that the "Fairy" didn't come & do it for them. It's like they just "Throw it in". Even my friends that come around & bring beers or wine for parties, Just shove it in & hope for the best....
(Still, NOT our Fridge)


So today was no different, as I open the fridge to get the veg out of the draw, I take my life in my hands, a million & one things come flying out of there & I am like a whippet, grab here, catch there... But I under estimate the fridge... As I bend down to get the veg from the draw, a tub of cream comes flying off of the top shelf & misses me by an inch... Arrrrrgh. That'll be ME, mopping AGAIN...