My partner & I had booked a Holiday to Grand Canaria With 3 daughters at the time. The hotel was lovely but it had some very Rude & Ignorant guests. Anyway, we started our holiday as every family does, got a few beds by the pool so that we could keep an eye on the children, got some water etc... On the third day, we do the usual after breakfast, you know, try & find some sunbeds that HAVEN'T already been taken at 4am.. We managed to find a couple near the bridge part of the pool that walks up to the bar where there was a seating area (& where the story really begins) So, "Him in doors" puts the towels down as I make sure the kids have got their cream on before the pool, I say kids but I still treat the elder ones as my babies.. Anyway, they want to go & play in the pool & we let them.. They are having fun, throwing a ball to each other, teasing the younger one, the usual stuff kids do in a pool.. To the right of me this couple & their daughter take the only available beds left.. He is a big guy, looks quite scary, shes has HUGE boobs & the girl is soooo adorable, about 9 I would have said, but very sweet & helpful... I nod to them as you do & turn my attention back to the girls who are now getting a little excited, loud & well, splashy, but hey hoo, they are in a swimming pool on HOLIDAY.. Carry on... Things are fine until this "FeckWitt" sits down in the little seating area in the middle of the pool (that bar isn't even open & there are LOADS of other tables near but away from the water) Can you see where I'm going with this?? Yes, the girls managed to splash him, to this, he stands up & starts shouting at them... Well, let me tell you something... I'M THE ONLY ONE THAT CAN SHOUT AT MY KIDS..... This gets my back straight up & I'm off... Well to keep this post clean, I shall add in the Bleeps.. It went something like this... "Oi you Bleeping Idiot, It's a Bleeping Pool, The kids are playing & you sat down right next to them you Bleeeeeeeeeeping Feckwit.. if you EVER talk to my kids like that again, You will Bleeeeeeping know about it, Now BLEEP OFF" Some of the people around the pool watched in horror, others clapped & the couple next to us were Peeing themselves. I looked over at them & laughed, "Can you believe that guy?" I said & this started us talking..
They were from Darlington, had two other children (that weren't with them on the holiday) & were really fun to be with. "Him in Doors hit it off with the bloke & I became great friends with the woman, the kids loved spending time together & the holiday really began to be fun. We would get sunbeds together, have drinks in the evening, some nights we went out together.. Deb & I seem to have the same views on Speedos too.... NO Englishman should wear them...No, I don't know how many people think of, say perhaps, German men when you think of Speedos. Well Deb & I did, couple that with REALLY long, curly Blond hair... We give you "Simba & his Pride" This bloke LOVED himself.. Long flowing mane, Leopard Speedos, Young, beautiful, skinny wife & kids that were obviously NOT hers... Oh & then There was "James May" This guy, wore the Speedos but with a Hawaiian shirt open.. Now come on.. I have children there, We REALLY DON'T want to see you Meat & 2 Veg... So, there was Deb & I laughing & bitching about these people, you know, the usual "Why can't they wear normal swimming trunks" "Does he have to, I've just eaten" etc... Until we come to the second week & Simba is leaving & it looks like James is on the same flight.. Can you imagine the looks on our faces when we realise that they were ENGLISH & had heard us the whole time.. Ha ha ha.. Me being me, told them that perhaps they should act their ages & invest in some suitable entire when around children & if they dressed & looked the way they did then they were fair game...
So PLEASE, I beg of you... If you yourself or your man has Speedos... GET RID of them because I am out there, you never know if I'm on the same Holiday as you... & if you are German, then I am sorry, I didn't ment to offened but may be you should stop wearing them too......
No comments:
Post a Comment